Fathers - by John Bishop

FATHERS

We are a fatherless generation.   So was the nation of Israel some 2500 years ago.  I love the story of God, pursuing us, loving us with a consuming fire and even in our sins he wants to restore us.

Your children NEED YOU.  Turn your hearts toward them.  Reach out to them.  Seek to understand them more than wanting them to understand you.

They want your presence more than your perfection.  They want to know you are there, through whatever, and whenever.   They need you to be the safe person in their lives. 

According to recent studies “children with involved Fathers are more confident, better able to deal with frustration, better able to gain independence and their own identity, more likely to mature into compassionate adults, more likely to have a high self esteem, more sociable, more secure as infants, less likely to show signs of depression, less likely to commit suicide, more empathetic, boys have been shown to be less aggressive and adolescent girls are less likely to engage in sex.”   SOURCE: U.S. Dept of Health

Everyone grows up with a common longing, and a deep need for a fathers presence in our lives.   Turning toward your children is the first step in healing and restoring your relationship with them.   I get what it ‘s like to “feel like you can’t or don’t measure up”   I really, really do.  I am a dad before I am a pastor.    And I was a son before I was a dad.

You matter SO MUCH to your kids.  Turning is merely the first step.

Growing up with a step-dad that was abusive and a dad that died when I was really young made me hesitant to trust God as my father.  I wanted a Savior, I needed a Savior and I also needed a Father.  I needed a Heavenly Father, and so do you.  I can’t express enough how I missed so much because I was focused on what I had lost, instead of who God was.  He is the perfect Father.  His love and compassion will never fail.

A.W. Tozer said, “What comes into your mind when you think about God is the most important thing about you”  

So many people have a distorted view of God because we somehow think God is a bigger version of our earthly fathers. We transfer negative experiences into negative expectations of God.    

God LONGS to be the Perfect Father you have always needed and wanted. As good as the best dad is, we all fall short of being perfect.  Be ok to be you, and turn your heart toward God, and as you do you will see what God sees.  You will see not how much you need to fix, but how much you matter just because.   The more clearly I see God, the more authentically I see my role as a father in the life of three kids who need their daddy.

CHILDREN

God wants to do a new thing in your heart and in your relationship with your father.  I encourage you to pray for him, to accept him, and to love him.

As I said before, I was a dad before I was a pastor, but before I was a dad I was a son.  I get so much of what people feel when it comes to the dad “stuff”. I still to this day remember standing at my dad’s grave basically yelling at him for dying.  Talk about a moment you never forget.  But that moment was also a pivotal point where I began the journey of forgiving a dad I have never known.

I can say that without hesitation I am blessed to have three amazing kids who each have extended so much grace to my life.   I’m not sure where I would be without each of them.  They love me, and we can talk about almost anything. 

Being a dad isn’t an easy thing, but being able to bless my kids and see their joy is a picture of what God wants for each of us.  Being a dad is a big thing and almost every dad I know doesn’t feel like they can measure up.    Turn toward your dad.  Turn toward a new day.  Turn toward what God wants for you. 

When people ask me who goes first, I say “You do”. 

It is always your move,